Gifted Slacker: The Art of Barely Getting By

In this episode of "Here for the Memories," I invite you to laugh and reflect alongside me as we explore the irony of being a gifted slacker amidst siblings who are academic stars. Through candid stories and humorous self-reflection, we’ll delve into the dichotomy of my disinterest in school and the paradox of my modest achievements. Whether you share a similar experience or are simply intrigued by the quirks of academic life, you’re in for a thought-provoking and entertaining ride. Tune in to see how these formative years shaped my sense of self and what lessons I took away from my unconventional academic journey.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Here for the memories thought-provoking audio memoir shorts filled with stories, humor, anecdotes and commentary on social, cultural, business and religious issues. Whatever Lyndon remembers and thinks will entertain, challenge and inform is a possible subject. The collection of memories about one's life allows for the development and refinement of a sense of self, including who one is, how one has changed and what one might be like in the future.

Speaker 2: 0:34

Greetings and salutations. I'm Lyndon Wolfe and you have joined my audio memoir here for the Memories. I'm so grateful you stopped by and I hope all is well with you. I once said, and this is a direct quote, I ain't the brightest crayon in the shed or the sharpest tool in the bulb. With that in mind, let's talk about academics. I hope you enjoy and relate, as I share massive underachievement, my massive underachievement in the academic world. Please consider these next few sentences parentheses of sorts. Okay, you will know it's over when my hushed tone ceases. Let me level set before I begin this discussion, if you will.

Speaker 2: 1:19

I come from a family where neither of my parents had college degrees, but that didn't mean that their children were not going to be well-educated. In fact, all four of us have college degrees, at least my oldest brother having an MD and at one point, a practicing physician. He was also well on his way to a PhD in physics. My sister, very, very bright, ranked at the top of her class at the University of Tennessee in math. My other brother, two bachelor's degrees History and economics. Take this for what it is A self-deprecating, humorous look at my academic life and its many failings and, if you will, twists and turns. There will be more on this subject in later podcasts. Just want you to know I did get better. Of course I had nowhere to go but up, so let's get into it. There will be more on this subject in later podcasts. Just want you to know I did get better. Of course I had nowhere to go but up, so let's get into it.

Speaker 2: 2:10

School did not hold my interest, as most things don't. Easily. Preoccupied and disinterested, I was a well below average student who somehow got above average grades. So I began to marinate on this part of my life and as I did, I was taken aback at my massive underachievement. I was a uniquely gifted slacker, extremely talented, raised in a family system that bred discipline. Somehow I developed selective amnesia when it came to applying myself, or applying discipline of any sort, for that matter. For some unknown reason to me, I didn't attend kindergarten. Maybe my GPA wasn't high enough or my references were inferior, but whatever.

Speaker 2: 2:57

So my first experience in a structured academic environment I was in the first grade at Sturkey Elementary School in Knoxville, tennessee. I was in the first grade at Sturkey Elementary School in Knoxville, tennessee. It was there that I began to craft a shortcut, a genius shortcut strategy that would serve me very, very well until I got to graduate school. But you know, doing the minimum for 16 consecutive years is hard work and it's an art, and I mastered both of those extremely well. And it's an art and I mastered both of those extremely well.

Speaker 2: 3:27

My first experiment with gaming the system and underutilizing my own abilities of learning was right out of the gate. I learned to read the room and ascertain the most diligent and capable students. I would then do my best to befriend them. They would come in handy, often, not only during elementary school but well beyond. So Vicki Allison was my first victim, and she was conveniently seated in the row ahead of me, so that made her an ideal target. I'm not sure what powers of persuasion I used, but she did almost all of my work that first grade year. It could have been that she had pity on what she perceived as a woefully incapable learner, or maybe I'd tapped into some now-forgotten slush fund of leftover Halloween goodies and bought her favor. But anyway, she willingly, and sometimes happily, turned out one assignment after another for me, and she became quite creative in transferring the contraband papers back to me so that it would appear that I was the one who had done the work. Much to my surprise, and, I would imagine, everyone else's surprise, I finished my six years at Sturkey with only one beat. Don't know who gave that to me, but if I could figure it out I would hunt them down. And Well, only one B, which tied me for the highest GPA with Melanie Miller. I had a crush on Melanie and even proposed to her by way of a finely crafted love letter, but Melanie had absolutely no interest in me.

Speaker 2: 4:58

We were selected to speak at graduation my first experience speaking in public, and a thoroughly terrifying one. Yes, we had an elementary school graduation ceremony with class speakers. My first experience speaking in public, and a thoroughly terrifying one. Yes, we had an elementary school graduation ceremony with class speakers. Now, I didn't get a graduation gift, nor did I get an expensive frame for my crayon-drawn diploma, but we had an event and I spoke. But I have no recollection of what that epic speech was about, but I'm pretty sure my dog Spotty and playing basketball were featured prominently.

Speaker 2: 5:32

Jeff Turner and Danny Hopper were good friends during those years. I had a somewhat guarded and twisted respect for their ability to work hard at school to apply themselves. They actually acted like they cared, but I would never admit any level of admiration, for I considered all their efforts a waste of the opportunity to socialize and goof off. Jeff became a civil engineer and retired before I could figure out what in the world I wanted to do with my career. And here I am not retired. Danny had an outstanding military career and even retired before Jeff Turner did. Ugh, danny had an outstanding military career and even retired before Jeff Turner did.

Speaker 2: 6:08

So please take a journey back in time and ponder all those school years, the friends, the teachers, especially those who had a great impact on you or made a distinct impression on your life. Look for your academic passions, or lack thereof in my case. There's much to be learned from all those years of learning. What were your favorite memories? Did you find any regrets that you have since not repeated? How has your formal education made you a better person? How has it prepared you for a life well lived, worth considering, don't you think? Well, I'm Lyndon Wolfe, and thanks for taking up a chair and spending some time with me. Remember that your memories are a treasure trove.