What Is Our Foundational Emotional Need?

What if the most fundamental emotional need isn't love, validation, or community, but something even simpler? In this eye-opening episode of "Here for the Memories," I, Linden Wolfe, explore the profound impact of acknowledgment on our lives. Drawing from my own transformative experiences and the wisdom of psychologist Abraham Maslow, we unpack why recognizing someone's existence can ignite a cascade of positive emotions, leading to greater self-worth and communal flourishing. Through personal anecdotes and deep reflections, I challenge you to rethink what truly lies at the heart of our emotional well-being.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Here for the memories thought-provoking audio memoir shorts filled with stories, humor, anecdotes and commentary on social, cultural, business and religious issues. Whatever Lyndon remembers and thinks will entertain, challenge and inform is a possible subject. The collection of memories about one's life allows for the development and refinement of a sense of self, including who one is, how one has changed and what one might be like in the future.

Speaker 2: 0:34

Greetings and salutations. I'm Lyndon Wolfe and this is my audio memoir here for the memories. I'm glad you chose to visit. It was an excellent choice. I often question the groups that I'm training about what they consider their greatest emotional need. Common answers tend to include respect, a sense of belonging, community security which is related to trust, of course which is related to trust, of course love, acceptance, validation, peace of mind and success. These are all viable answers and certainly part of someone's healthy self-image.

Speaker 2: 1:15

Psychologist Abraham Maslow was famous for his hierarchy of needs. Beyond basic physiological needs such as food, clothing and shelter, which are fundamental in a person achieving any significant, healthy emotional status, he mentioned several of the emotional needs that I've found in my discussions safety, love, belonging and esteem. As a humanist, maslow would have believed that when both physiological needs and emotional needs are met, people's innate desire for self-actualization, which is defined as the fulfillment of one's talents and potentiality, can be realized. Although I'm not a raving fan of Maslow, I must admit some of his ideas have merit, at least conceptually. I think both the answers from my audience and Maslow's hierarchy of needs tell us this. But and this is my thesis we are missing something even more foundational and fundamental, it is the simple act of acknowledgement. And fundamental, it is the simple act of acknowledgement, although it's only common sense. No one will feel love, say, validated, accepted, or feel a sense of belonging or community unless someone first acknowledges their existence. And here's the not-so-subtle point. That requires actually speaking to someone, asking their name, looking them in the eye, wanting to know how their day is going. Just recognizing they exist will convey a sense of their importance and value.

Speaker 2: 2:59

Do we care enough to intentionally acknowledge people? These are people, real people With real needs Emotional, physiological, real families, real bills, real feelings. Are they invisible to us? Maybe these people are crying out. I don't care what you call me, just call me, just recognize me as something more than a disposable commodity. This is even more foundational than the other emotional factors. Why? Because it precedes them and is necessary for the other needs to be met, so that people have a sense of self-worth and purpose, those things that are desperately needed to not only thrive but survive.

Speaker 2: 3:55

Simply acknowledging a person is real and initiating authentic interaction brings so many positive byproducts. When people acknowledge us, even briefly, we feel a connection with them and then a powerful sequence unfolds Acknowledgement first. The recognizing of the person leads to a sense of validation and worth, and then a sense of community because of the connection and the more likely realization of their potential. With further approval, they gain self-respect and appreciation and, consequently, the all-important self-efficacy. These are people who will make the world around them prosper simultaneously and synergistically with their own human flourishing. In other words, they will positively impact the world around them because they have been positively impacted.

Speaker 2: 4:58

So I'm going to ask you to try something today. Find three people Okay, that's pretty tough stuff. Find a person you don't know who looks like they need a confidence boost. They're forlorn or look shy and out of place, and initiate a conversation with them. Ask them their name and give them yours. Ask them how they're doing and how their day is going. Okay, this is a little bit of a transition. I hope I will sound even more serious.

Speaker 2: 5:35

After all, this is a podcast about memories, but someone once did this for me and it's a memory that I will never forget. I don't recall their name, which is kind of ironic, but the image of their visage is as clear today as it was the moment they approached me and asked me my name and asked me how I was doing. It was in a crowd and I don't do very well in crowds I felt alone, invisible, unnoticeable, lacking in confidence, feeling little or no self-respect, worth or value. When I realized later that this individual was both powerful and influential, yet came to me with a servant's posture, I was blown away. He initiated a discussion with a shy young man, out of place and feeling incapable and unimportant, and made him feel special. And it only takes a minute, but it can make a huge difference in someone's life, as it did mine.

Speaker 2: 6:54

I'm Lyndon Wool and this is here for the Memories. I'm so glad you stopped by. As you look back over your life and recall interactions with people who validated you, who acknowledged you, who made you feel like you had worth, enjoy and reminisce on the impact the positive impact they had on your life, come and visit again. Visit early and often.

Speaker 1: 7:35

I didn't see that coming.