Here For the Memories
A thought-provoking audio memoir shorts filled with stories, humor, anecdotes, and commentary on social, cultural, business, and religious issues. Whatever Linden remembers and thinks will entertain, challenge, and inform is a possible subject.
Here For the Memories
Forlorn and Funny Funerals
Ever found yourself pondering the absurdities of life and death? Our host, takes you on a laughter-filled journey through the unexpected highs and lows of officiating life's most significant ceremonies—weddings and funerals. Sharing his personal stories, from the somber to the surreal, he offers a humorous perspective on how we can celebrate life's moments with joy instead of mere tradition. His reflections on his own outlandish funeral plans are sure to leave you chuckling and contemplating the deeper questions about life's final curtain call.
In this episode of "Here for the Memories," he encourages us to rethink the age-old customs of mourning. Through his witty self-eulogy, he reminds us that life deserves a send-off filled with laughter and love, not just tears. Guest appearances from family and friends add a personal touch, ensuring that listeners walk away with a renewed appreciation for the unique ways we can honor our lives and loved ones. Tune in for a heartfelt celebration that fuses poignant reflections with a lighthearted embrace of change, family, and faith.
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Here For the Memories
Here for the memories thought-provoking audio memoir shorts filled with stories, humor, anecdotes and commentary on social, cultural, business and religious issues. Whatever Lyndon remembers and thinks will entertain, challenge and inform is a possible subject. The collection of memories about one's life allows for the development and refinement of a sense of self, including who one is, how one has changed and what one might be like in the future.
Speaker 2:Hello friends, If you appreciate the content and what it takes to create and deliver it, please consider a small contribution. Just go to buymeacoffeecom slash here for the memories, that's buymeacoffeecom.
Speaker 2:Slash here for the memories Much appreciated, funerals that were forlorn and funerals that were funny. Officiating a wedding is far more stressful than eulogizing the deceased. Funerals had less pressure. The primary subject was dead and probably quite disinterested. The family was so grieved they didn't or couldn't listen to my eulogy. Often, however, I painstakingly wrote funeral sermons in the same way I wrote wedding sermons unique, customized and fully approved after the input from the family. Since my funeral is so near, I won't tell you about all the sad funerals I've preached at. Most of them had an air of hope. Others were shockingly morbid and macabre, like the one where the family of the 19-year-old boy who had committed suicide buried him in a Blue Oyster Cult t-shirt. For those who don't see the tragic irony, blue Oyster Cult's biggest hit, don't Fear. The Reaper was an unashamed glorification of suicide. Or the lady who went to the bathroom on Christmas Day just before the family was set to open Christmas presents and she never came back. She died of a stroke next to the wash basin.
Speaker 2:On a lighter note, I have outlined my own funeral service and fully expect that my wishes will be carried out, although my logic is dubious, much to the chagrin of my ghost editor, I think I will share it here. Be warned it ventures a great distance from the somber, hushed and gloomy spectacle of most funerals. I will be furious if you show me the door with anything less than a celebration feasting and repeated loud and even off-key choruses of Rocky Top. And here it is my own Eulogy. Hello, I'm Lyndon, sharing with you from beyond the grave, so to speak. Thanks for coming.
Speaker 2:When they say that someone preached their own funeral, it's usually because their life was so outstanding it was easy to eulogize them. This is not the case today. I just wasn't that good. Not the case today. I just wasn't that good.
Speaker 2:I'm participating to prove I'm not really dead and that I love to write, even though my grammar and syntax are suspect at best. But I will keep my thoughts and requests to a minimum. Here goes I expect all of my siblings to share something, even you, ron. Also, samuel, you're supposed to be reading this to the attendees. You're an actor, so once my thoughts are complete, feel free to improvise. If you don't participate, I'm going to smite thee from my new heavenly abode with my recently acquired Charlton Heston-like powers of plague and pestilence. I wanted to require all attendees' complete wardrobe and accessories be worth no more than $250. But that would have eliminated one of the speakers, janine. So my recommendation is that you calculate the estimated value of your ensemble, subtract that number from $250, and donate the difference to a gospel-centered organization.
Speaker 2:If there are some who can't control their emotions and cry disruptively, which is unlikely, those who are more emotionally stable can escort them to a designated mourning room. This is a celebration, folks, and the Wailing Wall is in Jerusalem. I greatly prefer rejoicing in laughter over tears, and this is my day right. If you have any questions about the reason for my death, it's good to have a doctor in the family, larry. Feel free to answer any technical or layman's terms, or just quote the author of Hebrews and simply say it was my appointed time. Otherwise, everyone here can just Google the term Cancer.
Speaker 2:Love of my precious wife and children, knowing that they have been a special gift to me and one that I didn't deserve, realize they need strength and wisdom to move forward joyously in their faith. Each one of you may be the encouragement they need in their new journey. May part of your praise today be thanksgiving for my immediate family. If there is something good worth remembering about me, it's because of them, especially my mother and father. By the grace of God, I've requested Turn your Eyes Upon Jesus to be both the invocation and benediction.
Speaker 2:This is not because of my failing memory or because it's my favorite hymn. This hymn was playing when I received Jesus Also. It was playing when I answered the call to ministry Jesus Also. It was playing when I answered the call to ministry. And on the day I baptized Piper, the church played that very song without my request. This is not a coincidence. No, it's because the title, the song, is what I want you to do today, during this time and from this time forward.
Speaker 2:If you look closely enough at him, you might see me in the background enjoying his perfect presence. If you don't trust me when I say that gazing on him will be more than enough for you, until then, we see each other Be of good cheer. Despite promised tribulations in this life, our Savior has overcome for us. I am now living proof. Carry on Lended PS. Now would be a perfect time for a prayer or a praise song. Okay, folks, on the next episode I will tell a tale of two funerals, two funerals I attended on the very same snowy evening. This is Lyndon Wolfe. You've been listening to Hear for the Memories. I pray that your memories of funerals are ones that brought laughter instead of tears, rejoicing instead of weeping. That, even though you miss the deceased, you could celebrate their life and can look forward. It is my prayer to sing them again.
Speaker 1:Hello friends, If you appreciate the content and what it takes to create and deliver it, please consider a small contribution. Just go to buymeacoffeecom slash here for the memories. That's buymeacoffeecom slash here for the memories Much appreciated.
