When Dancing Really Became Sin

Through witty commentary and self-deprecating humor, I reflect on the trials of dancing genius thwarted by the conspiracies of lesser talents. Whether it's the "praise hands" fiasco or my journey from coordinated mess to supposed artistic greatness, the episode offers more than just laughs. It's a celebration of personal growth, the joy of artistic expression, and the occasional cultural clash. Tune in for a delightful mix of storytelling, laughter, and unexpected introspection that promises to entertain and provoke thought in equal measure.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Here for the memories thought-provoking audio memoir shorts filled with stories, humor, anecdotes and commentary on social, cultural, business and religious issues. Whatever Lyndon remembers and thinks will entertain, challenge and inform is a possible subject. The collection of memories about one's life allows for the development and refinement of a sense of self, including who one is, how one has changed and what one might be like in the future.

Speaker 2: 0:36

Greetings and salutations. This is Lyndon Wolfe and you have found, luckily so, my audio memoir called Hear for the Memories. So glad you joined. We hope that you enjoy what you hear. You find it refreshing, honest and maybe a little humorous as well. Today we're going to talk about one of my favorite subjects dancing.

Speaker 2: 1:01

My dancing skills recently have come into question again, maliciously maligned, which is far worse than just being maligned. I volunteered Okay, I was coerced by Rebecca, under the threat of bodily harm, to contribute to a recent surprise dance mob. Okay, it was about ten dancers with an audience of a similar size, and it transpired in the living area of an aunt who annually hosts a Christmas Eve, family Christmas. The operational song was Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is you. So I got off on the wrong foot, literally and figuratively, because I think her singing sounds like a mosquito that just got sucked into a vacuum cleaner with all those runs and trills. Anyway, that was the song.

Speaker 2: 1:50

Although my dancing is often described as seizure-like, I always explained that I was limited in practicing my craft due to being raised in a house where dancing was considered seriously sinful. Samuel tells me that dancing was never considered a sin until mine was observed and immediately more conservative people wanted it prohibited. But this is mere pretense and jealousy. My brilliance, like many great artists, will not be appreciated until after I go to that great disco in the sky. This evening was evidence, if not proof, of that conspiracy to conceal my greatness through blatant gaslighting. I was asked to come in alone as the last wave for the big finish. Save the best for last is not just a cliche, it is a way to put the exclamation point on a great performance. They kept my choreographed moves to a minimum, as opposed to showing up the rest of the ensemble or even exposing to the astute audience my genius. Some have compared me to Fred Astaire, others Mikhail Baryshnikov and Michael Jackson, or even acrobatic street dancers. Some have even suggested that I can dance with the techniques of each of these and, in an otherworldly thought, I can do so simultaneously.

Speaker 2: 3:21

Anyway, as I glided in, I was confident in my moves. They called them praise hands, which I think was a not-so-subtle attempt to dredge up the toxicity and legalism of my religious upbringing's position on dancing Pure evil. I thought there's a special place in beginner's dance class for people like that. Praise hands was the thrusting of your hands up over your head twice. Our rendition had praise hands to the right side and then to the left. The complex move was repeated repeatedly. Let me say that again. The complex move was repeated repeatedly. I guess it was repeated Undeterred by their treacherous trickeration.

Speaker 2: 4:06

I redoubled my focus and found myself in that sweet zone of unconscious perfection. But then my experience kicked in. Once engaged in the choreographed chaos, I quickly noticed that when I was going one direction, my rookie and candidly incompetent collaborators were going the other. When my praise hands went to the right, theirs went to the left or they didn't go up at all. We were asynchronistic. That's an erudite dance term for being out of sync.

Speaker 2: 4:37

I was aghast at the ineptitude I was participating in. My detractors would later hurtfully say that I was messing up and didn't know what I was doing, when in fact all of them were wrong Simultaneously and in great rhythm. They seemed to be achieving something special, but they weren't. The embarrassing truth was that I alone was doing the correct dance at the correct pace, but brilliance can often make you awkwardly stand out. So I was familiar with the discomfort I had come to expect. Please know that what I say here is not meant to lack humility the genius of my dancing is clear to all, but my benevolence and sacrificial nature are even grander. You see, as I was about to play out the big finish, they had asked me for. My heart hurt for them. Whereas typically I would have called out their lack of talent and physically distanced myself from the ensemble, this time I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was overcome with the thought that they were trying their best, giving it their all, despite their grotesquely severe limitations, despite the shame and ill repute they had thrust on the field of dance and those like me who had made it gloriously extraordinary. I chose not to tear them down or build myself up. So I said nothing, nothing at all. So I said nothing, nothing at all. I bowed in concert with my fellow dancers, exited the building and drove away into the night, knowing for the first time why people would call dancing a sin.

Speaker 2: 6:16

I'm Lyndon Wolfe. This is my audio memoir. Here are the memories I hope you enjoyed. Do you like dancing? Do you dance well? Do you admire great dancers? I actually do, even though clearly I'm not a great dancer. I admire the athleticism, the grace, the beautiful moves, the strength, the nimbleness. There's so much beautiful in dance. I'm reminded that enjoy. King David of Israel danced in the streets in celebration. I pray that you, today or soon, can dance in celebration.

Speaker 1: 7:00

God bless for the memories Much appreciated.